Eve once did this: one morning, having listened too many times to Leonard Cohen singing Suzanne the night before, she went down to the river. There she stepped onto a wooden pier, sat down, looked for the heroes in the seaweed, and when she didn’t see any, she looked for love instead.

And lo and behold, there it suddenly was, it came right at her, inside a floating bottle, no less. Could this really be it? What she so much wanted, and had been hoping to find for what seemed like forever? She leaned out, reached for the bottle, didn’t quite manage, leaned further, and further yet, and had not her guardian angel (who is called Alice, by the way) grabbed her hand she would literally have fallen in love there and then, with disastrous consequences, because the current was vicious, and she could not swim.

Fortunately, then, she was saved from a grim fate. And little did she know that it was just the other Alice, whom she actually knows very well, who spent her morning writing little notes and setting them afloat in some empty bottles she had found among the aforementioned seaweed. I don’t know why, maybe she is searching for something too, and becoming far too human, because humans are so easily fooled.

Eve told me about this last night, and she still listens to Suzanne far too often. Or so she says.

Aubrey D Goldcase