Caitlin is sad. She wants to be human, but when she says what she thinks people don’t want her around. But if she doesn’t, what’s the point of talking? She thinks that humans talk mainly to make other humans like them. And to check that what they say is what others like to hear. To become better at thinking the ways others want them to. Which ends up being more or less what they think themselves. So humans try to think the way and like the things all the others do, because that way everyone likes them. They have even invented gadgets and a huge network to make it easier to make sure that what they think is what others like them to. So that they can quickly erase any erroneous thoughts from their mind.

 This makes Caitlin very sad. Because who decides which are the right things to think in the first place? But she knows that’s one of the wrong things to ask. On second thoughts, maybe she doesn’t want to be human after all. She is tired of trying so hard all the time.

Alice comforts her, tells her that she understands. And that humans have probably just forgotten what they are. Or maybe more like, what they aren’t, she says.Caitlin smiles and takes her hand. It is warm, and slightly moist, like she has just come out of a hot bath. 

The Green Room

(Aubrey and Janet in the mists of time)

Janet: – Hey! I think I like being human!

Aubrey: – Really?

Janet: – Yeah, I mean, I look, like, really good, don’t I?

Aubrey: – Really?

Alice (from behind the camera): – Shhh! You’re both going to look really stupid with your mouths open!

J & A together: – REALLY?

Laugh breakdown for several minutes. In the end we did manage to be serious for long enough to take the picture. I’m not sure why, actually. We can’t take it with us anyway. Perfect timing, though, quite literally: I got it just as time began collapsing at the edges.

Alice (of wonders)

Through the Looking Glass


Yes, I know, if you read the book you probably think the transition was really easy, no problem at all. Don’t get me wrong, I really love that book – but moving between worlds is seriously hard work, scary, and in this case quite literally painful. If I was an actual human being I would still have the scars to prove it. Fortunately, I am not.

Alice (of wonders)



Of course Janet also heard about this birth-and-pregnancy-thing from very early on, being supplied with a personal history of growing up in what was known to some as the early 21st century, in the western culture of so-called democracies. But when she was little she preferred the more elegant and stylish egg story, and even though she did stop really believing in it early on, it was not until her body suddenly made her painfully aware of the actual mechanics of the other version that she finally accepted it.


“There are 2.896.544.670.003.756 and then 2.4 million digits more stars. I made them, remember? So of course I know. Don’t let anybody fool you about there being an infinity of them. Infinity, that’s beyond the stars. Even if that’s the totally wrong word because it isn’t a place at all, but obviously I can’t explain that in words. But that’s where we all go after this, or something, and it’s not too bad, really, it isn’t. Hello, I come from there, right?”

Aubrey D. Goldcase