Eve once did this: one morning, having listened too many times to Leonard Cohen singing Suzanne the night before, she went down to the river. There she stepped onto a wooden pier, sat down, looked for the heroes in the seaweed, and when she didn’t see any, she looked for love instead. 

And lo and behold, there it suddenly was, it came right at her, inside a floating bottle, no less. Could this really be it? What she so much wanted, and had been hoping to find for what seemed like forever? She leaned out, reached for the bottle, didn’t quite manage, leaned further, and further yet, and had not her guardian angel (who is called Alice, by the way) grabbed her hand she would literally have fallen in love there and then, with disastrous consequences, because the current was vicious, and she could not swim.

Fortunately, then, she was saved from a grim fate. And little did she know that it was just the other Alice, whom she actually knows very well, who spent her morning writing little notes and setting them afloat in some empty bottles she had found among the aforementioned seaweed. I don’t know why, maybe she is searching for something too, and becoming far too human, because humans are so easily fooled. 

Eve told me about this last night, and she still listens to Suzanne far too often. Or so she says.

Aubrey D Goldcase 


Of course Janet also heard about this birth-and-pregnancy-thing from very early on, being supplied with a personal history of growing up in what was known to some as the early 21st century, in the western culture of so-called democracies. But when she was little she preferred the more elegant and stylish egg story, and even though she did stop really believing in it early on, it was not until her body suddenly made her painfully aware of the actual mechanics of the other version that she finally accepted it.


Aubrey D Goldcase (aka twisted steel).

The life and story of Aubrey D Goldcase, an extra-universal congregation of (whatever it is beyond the universe), loosely and largely unsuccessfully translated into human life concepts and language.

She literally hailed, as she was often told in jest, from beyond the stars.

At first she (they) arrived in eggs. The arrival in eggs was a somewhat ill-conceived attempt at making her appearance inconspicuous, this being not exactly the kind of highly personal, intensive, and painful process of pregnancy and birth it usually took to create another human being. At least for the one half of the race that did the actual creating.

But no matter how, there she was. 

Obviously, she was not the only one. The god who figured her out was, after all, trying to recreate and improve upon what the other, and in its opinion somewhat unsuccessful gods, had created in what was clearly instances of abstract-minded spare times. Also, she, and they, were born of necessity. Something simply had to be done. Or at least had to be, unless the whole project was to be scrapped completely. Which, the (god) corrected itself, was a wholly inappropriate term. The so-called reality was not exactly taken down and demolished, rather it deteriorated and petered out, unnoticed and forgotten like outdated phones and computers left in boxes in attics or basements for future tenants to throw away.

It did not put many of the male things in this world. They didn’t seem to be really necessary, if you went with the pregnancy-birth-story, or at least just one or two of them. They generally seemed to do nothing useful, just fight wars and create useless gadgets and drink a lot of beer while degrading girls and women in loud and stupid voices. Or most of them did. Which is why they are largely left out of this world.

Okay, an admission. I, Aubrey D Goldcase (aka twisted steel), is “it”, the so-called god-thing in this story. Yes, that’s right, we’re one and the same. Sole creator of all worlds.

But just call me Aubrey. Well, if you know me, you probably already do.


“There are 2.896.544.670.003.756 and then 2.4 million digits more stars. I made them, remember? So of course I know. Don’t let anybody fool you about there being an infinity of them. Infinity, that’s beyond the stars. Even if that’s the totally wrong word because it isn’t a place at all, but obviously I can’t explain that in words. But that’s where we all go after this, or something, and it’s not to bad, really, it isn’t. Hello, I come from there, right?’

Aubrey D Goldcase